Just when the furor over the TSA’s pat down of young children died down after recent policy changes, the agency is facing more public relations nightmares.? A Nigerian man was able to sneak on to a plane with a bogus boarding pass. Meanwhile, the TSA is still defending itself against reports that agents asked a 95-year-old woman to remove her diaper during a security pat-down procedure at the airport.

According to published reports, the 95-year-old grandmother, terminally ill, was traveling in a wheelchair with her daughter for one last trip home before going to an assisted living center. The TSA officer did a thorough pat down, felt something on the woman’s upper thigh that the agent said felt firm and wet and refused her entry past the checkpoint until she went to the restroom and removed her adult diaper for inspection.

It was humiliating, absurd and ridiculous. But the TSA didn’t apologize. After initially releasing statements that the agent was simply following protocol, the TSA followed up by denying that no one “required” the traveler to remove the diaper.

“We have reviewed the circumstances involving this screening and determined that our officers acted professionally, according to proper procedure and did not require this passenger to remove an adult diaper.”

According to the passenger’s daughter, who was traveling with her, they were given no option but to have the diaper inspected, which required removing it.

At the same time the TSA was circling their wagons over the grandmother/diaper debacle, the head of the TSA also issued a new directive: Airport security screeners must now try to avoid invasive pat-down searches of children.

That order, of course, follows a video that went viral online showing a pat down of a 6-year-old girl at the airport in?New Orleans. After public outcry, the TSA revised its policy, and now requires airport security to make repeated attempts to screen young children without the pat downs.

And how will the TSA actually manifest this new kid pat down policy? It’s a no brainer?�� by actually TALKING with the children. What a concept! Again, it’s all about having a sensible, intelligent conversation and asking questions that can’t be answered by a simple yes or no.

The Missing Link

Airport security without intelligence and common sense is nothing more than security theater and stupidity. That’s what is wrong with much of our airport security system today. Americans flying home from overseas are routinely asked three predictable and pathetic questions that can ALWAYS be answered by yes, yes and no.

Even if English is not your first language, any idiot can be trained to repeat those answers in sequence. Did you pack your bags yourself? Have they been with you at all times? Did anyone give you anything to take back? Yes, Yes, and No, and you’re on your way. It’s a joke. The questions never vary. It’s not a productive conversation.

Solutions for the TSA

A simple conversation with the daughter traveling with the elderly woman would have easily led any security officer to reasonably conclude she was not a security threat.

The TSA says it is working hard to roll out new training procedures to allow their agents to engage in those kinds of productive conversations. It can’t happen fast enough.

Increased Scrutiny of the TSA

As the TSA is scrambling to recover from its PR nightmares, there has been another development: Airports are now being allowed to apply to opt out of having the TSA handle security altogether and go with private firms.

At this writing, private companies operating under federal oversight are already staffing checkpoints at San Francisco International, Kansas City, Rochester and 13 other airports around the country.

Six other airports have been invited to re-apply for the program, including: Glacier Park International Airport, Missoula International Airport, Yellowstone Airport and Bert Mooney Airport in Montana; Springfield-Branson Airport in Missouri; and Orlando Sanford International Airport in Florida.

However, airports that are now applying to opt out are also being asked to “discuss” (translation: prove) “the potential advantages that private screening would provide at their airports,” the TSA said in a statement.

So will your airport security be privatized anytime soon? Let me invoke the pun for the last time: It depends.

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