How Do I Hide a Job Interview From My Evil Boss?

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Dear Stanley,

I work in consulting and my boss is well known in the industry but working for him is like working for Vader. I’ve been looking around and found a good position in another firm where my college buddy works. The catch is that the prospective employer used to work with Mr. Vader a long time ago and knows him very well. How should I approach this employer without my current boss knowing it?

Signed,

Under Cover Man

Dear UCM,

It’s a tough one. Evil warlords have an interesting intersection of attributes. They are at once difficult to work for and cruel to their subordinates, while at the same time they are intensely jealous and paranoid about people leaving. It’s almost like they feel they and only they have the right to victimize their serfs. They will spring into destructive action if they think anybody is trying to steal a person they purportedly despise. You might think they’d be glad to get rid of the idiot that just five minutes ago they were screaming at. Not so. They will fight to the death to prevent the departure of a guy they fully intend to fire soon.

So you don’t want Darth finding out. This leaves you one of three options:

You could do nothing and leave your fate in the hands of the gods, trusting that your potential new boss has the good sense, taste, and judgment not to blow your cover. Years ago I did just that. I had grown pretty tired of all the bullshit around my then-job and was looking for a bullshit upgrade. I heard of what sounded like a maximo position at a firm of high repute, and arranged to go over and indulge in a mutual dog-sniff on the subject. My interviewer turned out to be a business associate of my then-boss. This gave me the same kind of agita that you now suffer. What should I do? Tell my boss that I had dropped by his competitor for a little chat? Talk to my interviewer to make absolutely sure he kept our conversation confidential? Or something else? I just didn’t know. I decided to employ the great business principal that has motored my career: When you don’t know what to do, do nothing. And it worked. I didn’t leave my job, but I didn’t get caught either. This was a long time ago now, and I haven’t been busted yet. I still get a little tingle when I think about it, though. It’s not an optimal solution, and you need to be ready to fess up and brazen it out if the worst-case scenario comes down. You could mention it to the interviewer, saying something like, “Hey, Chad, I know you and Darth Vader are associates. Obviously, this conversation needs to be kept confidential.” You’re certainly within your rights to do so. Everybody understands what’s at stake in this kind of situation. But it feels a little weird, doesn’t it? Like, the guy is sizing YOU up and you’re giving HIM instructions? And it seems a little bit shifty, too. It shouldn’t, but it does. So there’s that. You could talk to your friend, the one who is already working at the new firm. Ask him to smooth your way and discuss the confidentiality issue with his boss. This does two things. First, it raises the issue in a collegial way so that it gets some notice. And second, it shows that you already have a friend in the place. I like it. Do it that way.

A word about fessing up: It occasionally happens that you do get apprehended as a potential escapee from the corporate island. Don’t apologize too much about it. A quiet, “No, Barry, I’m not really shopping around. I heard about something interesting over at Omnivore and I thought it was worth a look. I haven’t had a raise in a while. I’m not actively out there, but every now and then, you know. Don’t worry. I’m happy here.” If you play it right, Vader might just start considering whether he really wants to pursue life without you. For your sake, in general, I hope the answer is a resounding “No.”