Should I Ask for More Money?

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You should pick up the phone and call the hiring manager. Skip HR. The HR person usually has the authority to say no to a negotiation but rarely has the authority to say yes. What I mean by that is in most companies, the HR person can hold veto power over a salary that is outside of guidelines (too high or too low) but isn’t the person that says yes to a new salary that is still within guidelines. (And of course, as a general rule, HR can be overridden–as it should be, but usually isn’t.)

But I’m a bit more concerned with your statement here:

This way of thinking is one of the reasons women end up with lower salaries then they are worth. (Judging by the name on your e-mail, you’re either female or borrowing some woman’s e-mail address.)? I know you’re concerned because you said yes over the phone, but don’t worry about that. It’s easy to start thinking, “Gee, if I ask for more money I’ll look greedy and no one will like me and the whole thing will fall apart!” I get that thought pattern. I really do. We don’t want to insult the person offering the job.

I’ve been reading by Dan Ariely. He talks about the difference between social interactions and business interactions. Companies desperately want their employees and customers to feel a social commitment to them. But you need to keep it all about business. You’ve fallen into the trap of thinking “wouldn’t it be rude” to ask for reasonable salary. No, it wouldn’t. I know it can feel rude. “Your offer isn’t good enough” feels like you’re telling your dinner-party hostess that her chicken is too dry. But this is not a dinner party. It’s business.

Repeat after me: It is not rude to ask for more money. It is not rude to ask for more money. It is not rude to ask for more money.

Now that you’ve done that, figure out what salary would be acceptable, pick up the phone, and call the hiring manager. Say you are so pleased to have received an offer and you are really interested in working for her and this company, but that a salary of $X is what you are looking for. ($X, by the way, is your acceptable salary plus 5 percent or so.) Then see where things go from there.

She may say, “Nope. The offer is fixed.” This is not because you did something wrong. It’s because it was fixed. She may say, “Okay,” and give you what you’ve just asked for. Or she may say, “What about $Y?” Then you can either say yes or counter. I’ve seen all three happen and happen frequently. I’ve even seen the counter offer be 3 weeks of vacation instead of 2 or a sign-on bonus or some other goody.

This process can sometimes take a while.? But please don’t skip it because you’re concerned about violating some social norm. That’s what they want you to feel like. It’s cheaper for them. But cheaper for them doesn’t mean it will be a better situation for you.